Teenager & Tidying
Living with kids is a Joy. Then they become Teenagers.
I am tired of hearing how terrible this phase is. For one, we all have been there, were teenagers ourselves. How did we feel back then about our parents and if, their demands to clean up our room otberwise no meeting friends etc.? Remember that. Two, kids are becoming their very own person in the teenage years, which is a beautiful thing. We got to let go and trust the process. You know the saying „First, we give our children roots to have a home. Then we give them wings to fly“? In my opinion we are not here to turn our children into mini-me's or to shape them into a version we prefer to see. We are here to accompany them to become fully themselves. To nurture, protect and inspire them. Every being is unique and beautiful. So let them be their own person.
Living With Teenagers
Living with a teenager might be a challenge sometimes because our sense of tidiness, structure & style differs from theirs. They might not agree with or might question us. Also, their priorities in this phase of life most likely are different than ours (we are about organizing life and making money, they are about living life and having fun). In this situation it might be what we want vs what they want. Let's not make this a battle or a power game. Instead, remember, we have all been there + the most important thing for a family and a home is the hapiness that lives within. So, how can we go about the matter of a tidy home, which is important to us?
First
We have to accept their space as what it is: their space. This means respecting their choices, their opinions and their priorities. I understand that there a few basic important traits our children should know. By the time they are teenagers we can trust that they integrated these.
Second
We can start the whole process before they become teenagers. We implement a good basic structure in our kid's room for storage asap. Once they grow this can be adjusted with furniture in their style according to them. Plus, if you consume consciously anyway in your life, they might see the benefits of it and might decide it is a valuable trait.
Third
We tidy our room and the communal spaces according to our and the family's needs. Be a role model. Be patient. Wait if it wears off and how it might inspire them. Don't force it upon them. To me, my approach to tidying and the KonMari Method® are invitations to others to try it out. If it is useful for them and makes them happy - great. If not, I will not push it onto them. This is true for my friends, family and for my children.
Fourth
If we are very unhappy about our kid's tidiness and the state of their room, we can lay down a few (emphasize on a few) rules like:
Sunday: get stuff ready for school
Friday: put dirty clothes in laundry basket
Wednesday: empty dishwasher
These rules turn into routines, which makes life easier and more headspace to invest in matters that really spark our interest and joy.
Fifth
Make quality time with the growing kids a focus and view tidying as a possible side effect. You can spend time with the children in their room regularly, talking about their interests, their activities and their dreams. This way their sense of living, what brings them joy and their priorities become clear. Their room can be furnished and decorated according to their style and with this tidying will happen as a pleasant side effect. A lot of changes happen during these years for teenagers. You can support these with ease with an approach of openness, love & gratitude.
A Happy Home
I believe a tidy home gives us more time, energy & money. And with that more happiness. In the end, relax - breath - enjoy.
Peace, joy & gratitude are more important than a few t-shirts on the floor.
Let’s Talk
What is your experience with living with teenagers in the house and the topic of tidying? I`d love to hear from you. You can reach me via hello@gesaordnung.de or via the contact form here on my website.
Wishing you a joyful day, Gesa
photocredit: Giang duong / unsplash.com